And it came to pass that there were in those days rocks. And it was pleasing unto those gathered into the hills that the rocks should be organized and placed in such a manner that there would be no biking upon the hills.
And it came to pass that there were those that were wroth that there were rocks on the hills, and they smote their bikes with other bikes and swore in their wrath that they would bike upon the rocks.
And it came to pass that many years later, the bones of those that rode upon the rocks were bleached and scattered by the sun and diverse beasts and the people that thought that they might just try to ride on the rocks a little bit when no one was looking were scared, yea, they verily hid themselves from the rocks.
And it came to pass that the rocks abode for a space of time, yea, many years passed and bikes were no longer made out of wood and could ride upon the rocks
And the Keepers of the Rocks saw this, and conspired among themselves to slay those that were riding upon the hills and verily, upon the rocks, and they then took all the oxygen away from that place so that the bikes were left riderless and abandoned.
And there arose a great wheezing in the land, and yea, many bikes were abandoned upon the hills and left to breed without supervision.
Thus endeth the first Book Of The Rocks With Bikes On Them. Let no man add unto it, yea, especially if he rideth the rocks that were found to be too hard, and besides, I'm tired and there may be mountain lions so we should turn back they're all idiots that go up there.
Bergen Peak, Evergreen, CO. Trailhead is at 7,800 feet above sea level, and the bloody peak is 1,980 feet higher than that, with great views, assuming that you can ride the 10 linear miles to get there while the rock fanatics pelt you with pamphlets espousing the Advantages of Being Smitten with Rocks. Try and fall over on the fanatics, as they're slightly softer than the rocks themselves.
With various adventures, mostly involving deer flies, the ride was a hair under four hours, up and back, and easily the hardest bloody trail I've ridden. Or walked while swearing at rocks. Tammy did it all too - she's turned into an amazing stamina factory, and frankly, has better balance and judgement while riding than I do. Those that have seen the X-rays understood this part already.
Freaking awesome day, though. Had lunch at a little Italian bistro at the foot of the peak, sitting outside and watching various stunned and anaerobic souls stumble back from the misery that comprised trying to summit. Being a total clydesdale and lacking grace, I'd managed to shear off some fairly important parts of the bike (strangely, not by falling on them) and so I have a new cassette and got my rear hub rebuilt for the second time. I swear, in my next life I'm coming back as a dwarf just for the sheer fun of not breaking everything I sit on.
I'm surrounded by Lilliputian devices. Help. Help.
- Ryan
